Tips for decreasing sensory overload in your highly sensitive child

We’re pleased to welcome Laura Sanders, MA, LPCA, as a guest contributor to the blog with two pieces this week aimed at helping parents and educators better understand and support highly sensitive children. Laura is a licensed counselor, EMDR trauma therapist, author, and mindfulness teacher specializing in working with highly sensitive children and adults at Cosmic Heart Counseling in South Austin and online.

Photo by Arwan Sutanto on Unsplash

When a child becomes overwhelmed, their nervous system is in overload. To prevent a meltdown or diffuse one that has already started, you have to work to get the nervous system regulated again. Remember, their capacity to hold sensory information and emotions has a lower threshold than that of neurotypical children. Here are some tips to help things run more smoothly in your household!

Increase communication.

Give your child language so they can tell you when they are getting overwhelmed. Have them pick an animal that they think best embodies their meltdown. For example, they may call big scary feelings “an angry monkey.” When they start to feel it coming on, they can say, “Angry monkey is here,” or you can ask, “Is angry monkey coming?” and you can try to intervene before it gets out of control.

Many times, there is a physical cue causing your little one to react.  It could be as simple as being hungry or tired. While most children get cranky when they are hungry, thirsty, or tired, an HSP child is even more sensitive to these physical cues, meaning their reaction to the sensations of hunger or tiredness will increase. When we need to eat, a stress hormone called cortisol is on the rise. HSPs are also more sensitive to any hormonal fluctuations, which may also contribute to extra discomfort.  

Ask them where they are on their sensory meter (you can come up with a fun name for it together) but on a scale of 1–10, they can tell you how overwhelmed they are. If they are at a 7 or higher, it’s time to take a break.

Strive for a more natural lifestyle.

Decrease the use of chemicals and fragrances in the house. Free and clear laundry detergent and dishwashing soap can help their sensitive noses and skin. Watch processed foods. Chemicals, dyes, and sugars in food will lead to more dysregulation, hyperactivity, and meltdowns. Certain medications can interact with brain chemistry and can cause a sensitive person to become dysregulated, and many HSPs do not react well with pharmaceuticals made for neurotypical brains and bodies.

Create a chillout spot.

Find a spot in your home that you can make a comfort zone. Have your child help build it with blankets, soft lighting, snuggle friends, and anything they will find comforting. This can be a place for them to retreat to when they begin to feel overwhelmed. It can also be a place for them to go to as an alternative for punishment. Many times, a less than ideal behavior reflects a need for a calmer environment, rather than a need for punishment.

Photo by Vitolda Klein on Unsplash

Take breaks.

A full day of running errands and playdates may be fun, but it could lead to overwhelm by the time you are ready to come home and relax. Checking in with your child frequently about where they are on their sensory meter or whether they are hungry can go a long way.

Let the child pick fabrics and clothing.

Allowing the child to tell you which clothing and fabrics they find overstimulating can be a game changer. Your day is doomed if your child starts out overloaded with tactile discomfort. Involve them in the process, and once you find what works, stick with it. As they get older, their clothing and fabric needs will change, so check in often.

Get tested for food allergies or cut out common allergens.

Food allergies are everywhere these days. Most HSPs are allergic to many different foods, and this can cause not only physical discomfort but also inflammation, brain fog, and even behavior changes. Getting tested can be pricey and time consuming. Many people choose to follow an elimination diet and see what works from there. You could also just cut out common allergens (dairy, gluten soy, sugar) and see what miracles happen!

Consider supplements.

There are lots of supplements out there that be helpful to calm down an overwhelmed nervous system, or ease anxiety. Some are branded for children, and some are branded for adults. Talk to a doctor or herbalist about which supplements can help with daily brain function and acute stress.

Practice breathing exercises.

My favorite exercise to do with kids is “Sniff the Flower, Blow out the Candle.” This has them take a big inhale through their noses and slowly exhale through their mouths.

Try physical helpers.

Sensitivity to the environment doesn’t mean that zero stimulation is ideal. A physical helper like a weighted blanket or a giant stuffed animal can provide much-needed comfort to an overstimulated child and help them get back to their baseline.

I hope you found this list helpful! If you are not sure if your child is highly sensitive, check out my related blog post here on Alt Ed Austin, “Is your child highly sensitive?” For more information on this topic, visit therapyforsensitives.com.

Laura Sanders, MA, LPCA | Cosmic Heart Counseling

Is your child highly sensitive?

Laura Sanders, MA, LPCA, is a licensed counselor, EMDR trauma therapist, author, and mindfulness teacher specializing in working with highly sensitive children and adults at her private practice, Cosmic Heart Counseling, in South Austin and online. We’re happy to welcome her as a guest contributor to the blog with two companion pieces this week to help parents and educators better understand and support highly sensitive children.

Photo by Ksenia Makogon on Unsplash

High sensitivity is a form of neurodivergence that is gaining in recognition and popularity. An highly sensitive person (HSP) is just that—highly sensitive. Their ability to tolerate sensory information and emotions is smaller than that of others, leading to overwhelm. A highly sensitive person has a finely tuned nervous system that can prime them for anxiety and stress. Without positive coping skills, this sensitivity can be overwhelming and lead to a host of behavioral issues in childhood and beyond.

With knowledge, understanding, and positive coping skills, sensitivity can be a superpower! Although navigating the challenges of sensitivity can be difficult, your child’s sensitivity can wield multiple gifts, including creativity, empathy, and even intuition.

Many adults are becoming aware of and owning their sensitivity, gaining coping skills, and thriving. For children, it can be more difficult as their brains, bodies, and nervous systems are constantly growing and changing. They have little control over their daily activities, foods they eat, and clothing they wear. An HSP child is even more vulnerable to the environment as exposure to even small amounts of stimulus may be too much.

To a neurotypical (NT) adult, the sensitive child might seem over reactive, overemotional, and dramatic. To the NT parent, the child is having an absolute meltdown because they don’t want to wear the shirt that was picked out for them. To the child, the physical body has become so incredibly uncomfortable that it causes stress hormones to spike. In turn, the child’s nervous system is activated, and they are flooded with emotions that they don’t know how to process. Screaming ensues.

To sensitive children, the world can seem entirely overwhelming. They may recognize that they respond differently to the world than their peers and not understand why. Arming them with knowledge, tools for self-care, and nervous system regulation at an early age can change the trajectory of their lives so they can use sensitivity as a superpower and avoid having to go through so much heartache.

Image by Rod Long on Unsplash

So, how do you know if your child is highly sensitive? Here are some signs that might indicate your child has a finely tuned nervous system and might need some additional tools to thrive in our crazy world.

Sensitivity is threefold—physical, emotional, and energetic. Physical sensitivity affects the five senses: touch, taste, sound, smell, and sight. When any of these senses start to get overwhelmed, a highly sensitive person’s nervous system detects a threat and goes into hyperdrive.

 Here are some physical sensitivity signs that your child might be an HSP:

• allergies to perfumes and other synthetic fragrances in detergents, scented candles, and even dishwashing soap

• an aversion to certain types of fabrics or shapes of clothing

• complaints that certain environments, video games, or television shows are too loud

• multiple food allergies

• proprioception or tactile sensitivity

• meltdowns after time spent in big crowds or places with bright or fluorescent lights

 Emotional sensitivity can look like:

• crying easily

• having feelings hurt easily

• bursts of anger

• feeling overcome when watching television and movies

• feeling a high level of empathy for animals, stuffed animals, or other people

• a sense of not belonging

• asking deep questions or having deep thoughts

• being described by others as “an old soul”

Energetic sensitivity shows up in some children and adults as:

• a strong sense of overwhelm in crowded places

• connection to spirituality

• having an increased sense of imagination

• possessing “second sight” or psychic abilities

• heightened creative abilities

If you think you or your child might be a highly sensitive person, don’t worry! It’s not a mental illness, and it doesn’t mean anything is wrong. It just means that your child might need a little extra care in navigating the world. Little changes in the household can decrease sensory overload. Using fewer chemical cleaners and fragrances in the home, dimming the lights, and making time for “chilling out” in between activities can give your child’s nervous system a much-needed break.

For more tips on decreasing sensory overload, check out this blog post on Alt Ed Austin. For further information on this topic, visit therapyforsensitives.com.

 
Laura Sanders, MA, LPCA | Cosmic Heart Counseling

Media Monday: Exploring neurodiversity in pop culture

We actually don’t understand the landscape that younger people have to navigate. And that’s why it’s so important not to tell kids how it’s going to be, but to listen to them as they try to find words to tell us how it is for them. And that’s sort of the struggle of autism.

—Hannah Gadsby, The Ezra Klein Podcast, August 17, 2020*

*Please note that Hannah Gadsby’s interview and her shows are more appropriate for mature teens and adults, while Speed Cubers, the film recommended below, is accessible for kids 8 and up.

In the past few years, people on the autism spectrum have shared their perspectives with the world in new and compelling ways, including books, films, TV shows, and even stand-up comedy. In the past couple of weeks I’ve stumbled upon a couple of new entries to the mix that I enjoyed, so I’d like to share them here. I hope any parents and kids out there with other favorites to share will do that in the comments, and we can follow up with another blog post soon.

The Speed Cubers (Netflix) is a short documentary about Max Park, a rock star in the world of competitive Rubik’s cube solvers. Max’s world opens up to new friends and experiences when he takes his skills and determination to new heights at the 2019 Rubik’s Cube World Championship.

The film is really about the power of friendship and parental support. As a kid, Max is able to overcome some of his isolation and improve his motor skills by playing with cubes with his parents. In the wider world, his admiration for a champion “cuber” from Australia, Feliks Zemdegs, leads Max to learn to interpret social cues and to deal with both success and failure with grace. The connection and mutual support of the two young men is inspiring, and the joyful spirit of the competitions is an antidote to any pandemic-inspired malaise you might be feeling right now.

I’m a fan of the Ezra Klein podcast and was thrilled last week to discover an hour-long interview with Australian comedian Hannah Gadsby. Gadsby’s first Netflix special, Nanette, caused a sensation in 2018 when she used her incredible power as a storyteller to talk about trauma, misogyny, queerness, and her struggles to find her place in a deeply homophobic culture—all within the framework of a comedy performance.

Klein’s conversation with Gadsby was one of the most enlightening I’ve ever heard on the topic of living with autism in a world that can’t or won’t understand or accommodate differences. It’s also a somewhat rare look at the female experience. Gadsby was only identified as neurodiverse a few years ago in her late 30s. That revelation is the subject of her most recent Netflix special, Douglas (named after her beloved dog). Much of the podcast conversation revolves around how the education system at all levels failed to pick up on Gadsby’s neurodiversity, leading to years of struggle when she simply couldn’t navigate the world as others expected and ended up homeless and vulnerable. Her intelligence and wit shines through in the conversation as it does in her work, much of which is also inspired by her love of art history. And as Klein says, it makes the experience of autism “emotionally legible.”

A few other recent additions to cultural representations of autism are listed below; these are mainly for teens. The PBS show Reading Rockets has a full list of recommended books for younger kids featuring autistic characters. Please add your own favorites to the comments!

• There are several recent TV series centered on neurodiverse characters right now, and one of the most unique features Harlan, a young character on The Umbrella Academy who is autistic and nonverbal and has a variety of supernatural powers, including telekinesis. (Suitable for kids 15 and up.)

• Madeleine Ryan’s A Room Called Earth is a novel that draws on its author’s experiences on the spectrum, especially the way she processes feelings. Ryan says of her main character: “It felt like she’d chosen me. And in a sense, from that point on, she really helped me to embrace autism.” (For kids who read adult fiction.)

• Paige Lyle, a TikTok video star, takes on a wide range of topics, including debunking myths about her life with autism: “You should listen to disabled people on disabled issues. You should always listen to the person it affects.” (Suitable for kids 15 and up.)

Shelley Sperry | Sperry Editorial