We’re pleased to welcome Laura Sanders, MA, LPCA, as a guest contributor to the blog with two pieces this week aimed at helping parents and educators better understand and support highly sensitive children. Laura is a licensed counselor, EMDR trauma therapist, author, and mindfulness teacher specializing in working with highly sensitive children and adults at Cosmic Heart Counseling in South Austin and online.

When a child becomes overwhelmed, their nervous system is in overload. To prevent a meltdown or diffuse one that has already started, you have to work to get the nervous system regulated again. Remember, their capacity to hold sensory information and emotions has a lower threshold than that of neurotypical children. Here are some tips to help things run more smoothly in your household!

Increase communication.

Give your child language so they can tell you when they are getting overwhelmed. Have them pick an animal that they think best embodies their meltdown. For example, they may call big scary feelings “an angry monkey.” When they start to feel it coming on, they can say, “Angry monkey is here,” or you can ask, “Is angry monkey coming?” and you can try to intervene before it gets out of control.

Many times, there is a physical cue causing your little one to react. It could be as simple as being hungry or tired. While most children get cranky when they are hungry, thirsty, or tired, an HSP child is even more sensitive to these physical cues, meaning their reaction to the sensations of hunger or tiredness will increase. When we need to eat, a stress hormone called cortisol is on the rise. HSPs are also more sensitive to any hormonal fluctuations, which may also contribute to extra discomfort.

Ask them where they are on their sensory meter (you can come up with a fun name for it together) but on a scale of 1–10, they can tell you how overwhelmed they are. If they are at a 7 or higher, it’s time to take a break.

Strive for a more natural lifestyle.

Decrease the use of chemicals and fragrances in the house. Free and clear laundry detergent and dishwashing soap can help their sensitive noses and skin. Watch processed foods. Chemicals, dyes, and sugars in food will lead to more dysregulation, hyperactivity, and meltdowns. Certain medications can interact with brain chemistry and can cause a sensitive person to become dysregulated, and many HSPs do not react well with pharmaceuticals made for neurotypical brains and bodies.

Create a chillout spot.

Find a spot in your home that you can make a comfort zone. Have your child help build it with blankets, soft lighting, snuggle friends, and anything they will find comforting. This can be a place for them to retreat to when they begin to feel overwhelmed. It can also be a place for them to go to as an alternative for punishment. Many times, a less than ideal behavior reflects a need for a calmer environment, rather than a need for punishment.

Take breaks.

A full day of running errands and playdates may be fun, but it could lead to overwhelm by the time you are ready to come home and relax. Checking in with your child frequently about where they are on their sensory meter or whether they are hungry can go a long way.

Let the child pick fabrics and clothing.

Allowing the child to tell you which clothing and fabrics they find overstimulating can be a game changer. Your day is doomed if your child starts out overloaded with tactile discomfort. Involve them in the process, and once you find what works, stick with it. As they get older, their clothing and fabric needs will change, so check in often.

Get tested for food allergies or cut out common allergens.

Food allergies are everywhere these days. Most HSPs are allergic to many different foods, and this can cause not only physical discomfort but also inflammation, brain fog, and even behavior changes. Getting tested can be pricey and time consuming. Many people choose to follow an elimination diet and see what works from there. You could also just cut out common allergens (dairy, gluten soy, sugar) and see what miracles happen!

Consider supplements.

There are lots of supplements out there that be helpful to calm down an overwhelmed nervous system, or ease anxiety. Some are branded for children, and some are branded for adults. Talk to a doctor or herbalist about which supplements can help with daily brain function and acute stress.

Practice breathing exercises.

My favorite exercise to do with kids is “Sniff the Flower, Blow out the Candle.” This has them take a big inhale through their noses and slowly exhale through their mouths.

Try physical helpers.

Sensitivity to the environment doesn’t mean that zero stimulation is ideal. A physical helper like a weighted blanket or a giant stuffed animal can provide much-needed comfort to an overstimulated child and help them get back to their baseline.

I hope you found this list helpful! If you are not sure if your child is highly sensitive, check out my related blog post here on Alt Ed Austin, “Is your child highly sensitive?” For more information on this topic, visit therapyforsensitives.com.

Laura Sanders, MA, LPCA | Cosmic Heart Counseling